July 21st, 2017
The first time we met you. The first time we saw you. You were tiny. So tiny that we saw you through a microscope. The nurses took a picture of you right after you thawed and you looked like a little egg hatching. The doctors told us that everything went well and you were ready, ready to go back where you came from.
I was so nervous the day that the doctors were to transfer you back. Back into your original home. I did everything they asked me to do. Everything. Your dad gave me every shot as gently as possible. We are talking about 80 shots at this point. We ate well. We got as much fresh air as possible. We arrived at the clinic attempting to be as calm as possible. We were ready for you. We were ushered quickly to the acupuncture room which was darkly lit. I had been getting acupuncture for quite some time at this point and knew what to expect. Your dad sat in the room with me and closed his eyes. All we could think about was you. All we could think were positive thoughts of you. We wanted you in our lives so badly. We couldn’t wait for you to join your big brother. Your dad helped me drink a huge bottle of water while I was laying there with all of the needles. We remained as calm as possible. We were so excited. So excited for the possibility of you.
When acupuncture was done, and I finished drinking all of my water, we went to the floor above and got dressed and ready for the transfer procedure. Everything was sterile and ready to go. We were as calm as possible. We were laughing, and giggling thinking about the possibility of you. We were so excited. We finally were set to begin the procedure. They escorted us into the room where I rested waiting for the doctors. Your dad told me happy stories to keep my mind away from anxiety, nervousness and my extreme desire to pee!
And there you were on the screen above. All 100ish cells. Those cells were you! A blastocyst. You were absolutely perfect. I couldn’t believe that what we saw was going to turn into a baby. 10 fingers, 10 toes and a beating heart. Since the original picture had been taken about half and hour before, you had grown. You had changed. You had hatched even more. The doctor and nurses commented on how perfect you were. They were impressed with how much you had already grown in such a short amount of time. They were very happy with what they saw. How much you had already changed. Now, all you had to do, was stick to my uterus and keep growing. Not all parents get to see this amazing picture of life’s beginning stages. This is the most beautiful part of the IVF cycle. There you were. Ready.
We saw as the doctor so carefully placed you inside of me. We saw you go all the way in. It was amazing. With your brother it was a bit different as we had no idea where to even look. But now we did. And we saw you fit right in and get cozy. And there you were. Back inside of me, right where we wanted you.
After 15 minutes the doctors let me get dressed. And we left. We left with only positive thoughts of you. Positive dreams of you. And then. All we could do was wait.