Grief. It’s work.

The grief is still here.  The pain. The sadness. The anxiety.  The depression. The only difference may be that it isn’t as strong. This time last year I wanted to end my life. The heaviness was so heavy I couldn’t think of any other way to lighten the load.  Simon was gone, nothing would ever … More Grief. It’s work.

Same But Different

What do I do? Do I tell Brett? Do I tell him that I haven’t felt the baby move in awhile? They say to track their kicks. To track their patterns. And I’ve been doing just that. But I haven’t felt the kicks. I haven’t felt them and I can’t remember the last time I … More Same But Different

Isn’t she excited?

“Isn’t she excited?  Isn’t there ANY excitement at all?” Let me say this.  No.  No, I am not excited.  I am hopeful AND absolutely terrified.  I am not excited because I am no longer blissful nor naive. I no longer have that pleasure. I would give anything to have that feeling back. I live in … More Isn’t she excited?