Rebuilding

The other day, I heard a fabulous description for grief.   Grief, it’s like you are sitting in your house and your house is bombed. Everything crumbles around you and you are left laying on the floor in a fetal position surrounded by rubble. And you lay there. You lay there for as long as … More Rebuilding

Easy

While I was pregnant with Nolan or after he arrived, I can’t remember, I was told by someone that didn’t know about my infertility journey that I had it easy. I kind of giggled.  You know that super uncomfortable giggle when you totally don’t believe what was just said. I had it “easy.” I guess. … More Easy

Dear Nolan,

Dear Nolan, I have written a letter to you a million times, over and over in my head, but I can never seem to figure out exactly what I want to say and get it on paper, or the computer, but you know what I’m saying. I apologize that so much of what I have … More Dear Nolan,

The Plan…

When I read It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too) by Nora McInerny  I couldn’t help but laugh. Not only is she a fantastic writer, she’s hilarious.  If I understood her social references, she would be even funnier. But if you know me well, you know, I have no clue when it comes to … More The Plan…

Dear Simon,

Dear Simon, It has been six months. Six whole months. How can it be so? I expected to live my lifetime with you, I expected to be a witness of every minute of your life, instead I live every moment thinking about you. Thinking about who you would have been and what you would have … More Dear Simon,

Almost

I was feeling like I had my shit together today. Despite a weekend full of “supposed to be’s.” Despite not sleeping much last night. Despite my child dying and people swearing something just had to be wrong with him. Despite people not realizing I gave birth to my child, the only difference being that he … More Almost

Decisions. Decisions.

When you are pregnant, you have all of these classes that you take and are offered to prepare yourself for your upcoming arrival. You take the birthing class, the CPR class, the breastfeeding class, the car seat installment class, parenting styles 101. Anything topic.  Everything. And you do anything and everything you can to learn … More Decisions. Decisions.